This is an important stage in preparing for marriage and choosing a spouse. The role of this stage has undergone significant changes in the present century, so that now there is a strong tendency to neglect pre-marital courtship in modern boys and girls (the latter are largely forced). S. V. Kovalev identifies three most important functions of this period, which correspondingly reflect the three main and chronologically relatively consecutive stages of the beginning of family life.
1. During the entire courtship, there is an accumulation of joint impressions and experiences. This is the emotional potential of the subsequent family life, the store of feelings from which the spouses will draw strength and joy in difficult periods of marriage. Continue reading
The initial period of marriage is characterized by family adaptation and integration. According To I. V. Grebennikov, adaptation is the adaptation of spouses to each other and to the environment in which the family is located.
The psychological essence of mutual adaptation lies in the mutual comparison of spouses and in the mutual coordination of thoughts, feelings and behavior (Kovalev S. V., 1988). Adaptation is carried out in all areas of family life. Material and household adaptation consists in coordinating the rights and responsibilities of the spouses in performing household tasks and in forming a model of planning and distribution of the family budget that satisfies both of them. Continue reading
The most developed at the moment is the typology of love, proposed by D. A. Lee and empirically tested on two large samples (807 and 567 people). The author identifies six styles, or” colors”, of love:
Eros-passionate, exclusive love-passion, striving for full physical possession;
Ludus-hedonistic love-a game that does not differ in depth of feeling and is relatively easy to admit the possibility of infidelity;
storge – calm, warm and reliable love-friendship;
Pragma-arises from a mixture of Ludus and storge-rational, easily controllable; love by calculation;
mania-grows out of a mixture of Eros and Ludus, irrational love-obsession, which is typical of uncertainty and dependence on the object of attraction; Continue reading