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“The parameters of a family system»

There are six main parameters of the family system:

Patterns of interaction
Family rules
Family myths
Beyond the family
The stabilizers of the family
Family history
1. Stereotypes of family interaction
They are understood as messages that family members exchange with each other (the husband smiles at the wife, and she in response shows the language-the preamble to the scandal or sex, etc.). Any event is a message in the family. The thunder of pots in the kitchen can mean the mother’s anger).

Message type:

Single-level (on one channel) – for example, the sound of a door slamming.
Two-level – the sound of a door slamming, plus a shout to catch up.
One level is always verbal, the 2nd level is non-verbal

Two-level and multi-level messages are divided into:

Congruent (coincident).
Non-congruent (mismatched, divergent).
If the content of the information on 2 channels is the same-congruent.

What’s up? – smile and “all is well” – congruent message. If he says “all is well” and lowers his head, it is not a congruent message.

These interactions are often repetitive, and those stereotypes that are often repeated are called interaction stereotypes.

In the functional family a large part of patterns of interaction is functional (congruent).

Joy on the face, in the voice and words, as well as sadness-congruent character. When stereotypes of interaction are congruent, then all events in the family are clear and understandable, as well as emotions and relationships. At the same time, there is a free emotional exchange, the family is able to develop sound decisions, peace and tranquility reigns in it.

Analysis of pathogenic (non-congruent) interaction stereotypes is of particular interest for a problem family.

For example, a teenager comes home, says that everything is fine and at the same time puts his head down. This is a reason for parental anxiety, fantasies about what happened, distrust, and a desire to confirm what happened. Emotional tension increases, and a family problem arises. And if the mother, father, son and grandmother have it, they begin to exchange, the tension accumulates, and a pathogenic stereotype of interaction in the family arises. No one finds support from anyone. Such stereotypes lead to serious violations of interaction in the family. The more dysfunctional a family is, the more incongruent stereotypes we encounter.

You need to observe the interaction in the family and choose non-congruence, so that you can then assign the correct correction. Stereotypes can only be tracked by observing the family as a whole. The most significant stereotype is that described in the late ‘ 69s by a group of American psychologists led by Gregory Bateson. They first investigated the forms of communication in families with schizophrenia patients. As a result, they found that each of these families has a special stereotype of a double bond.

The essence of double communication is that the child constantly receives non-congruent messages in a situation where he can not get out or pull away or check the very situation of interaction. Mothers verbally told their children that they loved them, but this was not verbally confirmed. The child is small and cannot check the correctness of the message. On one level of communication, dislike is shown, and on the other (verbal), love is spoken.

If the child receives such a double message, there is a state of confusion-which part of this double message to believe? Accordingly, the child can not get the proper emotional attachment. Join the “I love you” – she moved away. I’ll join “move away” – she’ll scold me. Such a child is in a state of chronic confusion. Schizophrenia, in this case, is a kind of way out of a state of constant confusion, through autism.

In this case, the consultant contributes to the transformation of non-congruent stereotypes into congruent ones. Non-congruent stereotypes are a very strong habit, you can’t change it until you see yourself from the outside.

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