Adaptation in a young family
The initial period of marriage is characterized by family adaptation and integration. According To I. V. Grebennikov, adaptation is the adaptation of spouses to each other and to the environment in which the family is located.
The psychological essence of mutual adaptation lies in the mutual comparison of spouses and in the mutual coordination of thoughts, feelings and behavior (Kovalev S. V., 1988). Adaptation is carried out in all areas of family life. Material and household adaptation consists in coordinating the rights and responsibilities of the spouses in performing household tasks and in forming a model of planning and distribution of the family budget that satisfies both of them.
Moral and psychological adaptation is based on the combination of worldviews, ideals, interests, value orientations, attitudes, as well as personal and characteristic features of the husband and wife (the maximum possible for this couple, but in all cases exceeding the level below which the joint existence of the spouses is impossible).
Intimate-personal adaptation consists in achieving sexual conformity between spouses, which implies their mutual not only physical, but also moral and functional satisfaction with intimate relationships (Grebennikov I. V., 1991).
Some researchers distinguish primary and secondary (negative) adaptation, respectively, for the first two stages of family life: for very young and just young marriages (Kovalev S. V., 1988).
The primary adaptation of spouses is carried out in two main types of their relationships: role-based and interpersonal. Basic for role-based relationships is the idea of the goals of the marital Union (hidden to the mind), which expresses the motivation of the spouses. The General motivation of a family Union includes four leading motives: economic and household, moral and psychological, family and parental, and intimate and personal.
You can marry, mainly focusing on it mainly as a household Union, sincerely believing that the main thing in the family is a well-established life and home Economics; as a moral and psychological Union-wanting to find a faithful friend and companion of your life, who understands you well; as a family-parent Union, based on the fact that the main function of the family is the birth and upbringing of children, or as an intimate and personal Union-seeking to find a desired and beloved love partner.
Therefore, in order for the family to be successful, these views must either be shared, or become such that the behavior of one spouse in his or her family role does not contradict the views of the other spouse, and Vice versa.
If one spouse considers one of them to be the main one, and the other-the other (and, in General, the third), conflicts in the family are inevitable, especially in acute, critical, crisis periods of family life, when the main unconscious, true motives are exposed.