Planning a marriage Affairs
In former times this side of life of the family, genus, names are treated not just seriously, but regarded as extremely important from all points of view: historical – with whom to intermarry vitally and permanently, and genetic – what is health how viable and strong is the progeny, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and with the economic – how firmly will stand on their feet heirs, etc.
At the same time, our ancestors also understood the meaning of psychology. A young family was created for decades, and the feelings of a girl and a young man entering into marriage were to be tested. Was the will of the parents to bless the marriage and to fix it a Church wedding ceremony, but had the value of love and other feelings between husband and wife, their psychological compatibility, the ability to get along is not a marital duty (as, for example, to comply with the clauses of the contract), but by mutual love and location.
Very much depended on both pairs of parents, or rather on the families that were going to be related. After all, in the future, the children were to be – more and more every year of life together-like their fathers and mothers.
That is why the creation of a young family was for the surrounding society not a connection of two young people for a joint life, but a connection-first of all! – two kinds. That is why very great importance in society was attached to “Domostroy” (make a list of recommended literature!) as a system of rules for maintaining the national family life and way of life. In particular, there was the activity of “pimps”, whose social function was to correctly select the families of the bride and groom, suitable for each other according to the main “parameters”: hereditary professions, characters, temperaments, cultural style and way of life of families (see, for example, the plays of N. A. Ostrovsky).
As a rule, the role of pimps was played by elderly, psychologically observant, experienced women who intuitively accumulated information about the “market” and the characteristics of families in the area in which the grooms and brides grow up.
At the same time, there was the institution of “betrothal” or pre-marital agreement, when the parents of two families agreed to marry their children “in advance” – betrothed them: the children could be 5 or 10 years old, and their future to some extent was already planned as a husband and wife when they reached the age of marriage.
The advantages of family planning consisted in the fact that both pairs of parents on both sides, having liked each other, fixed and checked their relationships in advance, and children were brought up accordingly, understanding that it is more reliable to prepare for procreation in advance, and not to rely on a chance meeting of their children with their (their) betrothed (betrothed) from God knows what family and what kind of tribe.
The role of parents, as well as secular and religious family planning institutions, was deliberately discredited in Soviet times in order to eliminate the mechanisms for selecting the “class elite” – nobles, merchants, Industrialists, and landowners. The maintenance of workers ‘and peasants’ dynasties, it was believed, can also go spontaneously.
As a result, the creation of families in Russia was made dependent on the accidents of meetings and acquaintances of young people, the number of divorces and single-parent families increased sharply, the birth rate decreased, and the culture of family education traditions fell.
Today, instead of” pimps “(not to be confused with Newspapers that print ads for Dating Services for unhappy people who are blindly searching for their” half”), family recruitment services are being created to help current parents with few children search in advance for” matching ” families of potential grooms and brides for their children.
Therefore, in this section, the chronicler can write down the wishes and requirements that, from the point of view of parents, the family should meet, with which it would be desirable to establish a relationship “for the future” for the preparation and planning of the future family of their child.
Of course, the feelings and desires of our children decide finally, but reasonable wishes and requirements of parents to the” qualities ” of the family of the future matchmaker and matchmaker, with whom they will be related, it is better to think in advance and advise children. There may be suggestions, for example, on the level of education of parents, by profession-a family of humanitarians or “techies”, by nationality, by place of residence, etc.
Special attention should be paid to the quality of health of the family of the future bride and groom, which modern young people usually do not have the culture to think about in advance.
In the absence of traditions of family planning of marriage Affairs, it is recommended to collect in this Chapter of the chronicle a kind of “Bank of information” about future families – “candidates” for breeding, where boys (or girls) are brought up, suitable for the age of Your children.
Your requests can be grouped into sections:
quality of the family based on the health status of the father, mother, and children (absence of serious inherited physical and mental diseases);
level of education, spiritual culture of the family;
parents ‘ professions and, therefore, their belonging to a certain socio–professional segment of the population (workers, intellectuals, workers of culture, science, trade, service sector, etc.).);
property level, material well-being, family wealth (there are families that determine the possibility of marriage of their children by the size and types of dowry, the presence of a cottage, a car);
nationality (or national composition) of the family;
the availability and quality of housing, registration, etc. of Course, this section makes sense only if the normal relationship between parents and children.