Idealization of the partner
In the first years of marriage (especially if the period of pre-marital acquaintance was short), the consequences of such a specific pre-marital relationship distortion of perception as the idealization of the partner can play a negative role. M. A. Abalakina (1987) believes that there are three points of view on the problem of idealization of a partner:
Idealization unreasonably overestimates the expectations placed on the partner and on interaction with him. The realization that a real person does not match the ideal image, plays a destructive role, leads to deep dissatisfaction with the partner, yourself, and the relationship as a whole. In the future, all this, if you are unable or unwilling to establish interaction with a new, more real image of the partner, leads to the collapse of the relationship.
Another view of the role of idealization in pre-marital relationships can be called constructive. It consists in the fact that the idealization of the partner is an incentive for the development of his personality, defining for him a certain, relatively speaking, “zone of closest development” – who he can become.
The third point of view – within the framework of humanistic psychology, is most clearly stated in the works of A. Maslow (1970, 1975). In his opinion, self-actualizing individuals, that is, individuals who have reached the highest level of development – the level of realization of their potentials, have the most pronounced spontaneity and naturalness. Idealization is not peculiar to self-actualizing individuals at all. There is no doubt that personal characteristics mediate the degree of idealization.