“Psychoanalytic” model of family education (part 2)
Dolto sees the main difficulty in passing the stages of personality formation for children not in children, but in parents. Difficult parents-overprotective, authoritarian, forcibly holding growing children in the nets of possessiveness. Analysis of childhood memories, ways of learning in kindergarten and school, features of education in a single-parent family, attitudes to money and punishment, all the details of children’s life reveals a huge interest in childhood psychoanalyst, recognition of the enduring importance of children’s stages of development. To share this position means that every parent, every specialist working with children, should feel these feelings.
In the works of the teacher-psychoanalyst D. V. Vinnikot, the main attention is given to preventive work with parents, to the development of correct basic attitudes. We are not talking about a strict system, but rather, on the contrary, it is advice to parents who are discouraged by the wisdom of books and the abundance of the latest pedagogical recommendations. Parents are encouraged to trust “intuitive wisdom” more, to be natural, but consistent and predictable. It is important not to ignore the findings of other parents in a similar situation, to share their experiences with someone, which will allow you to look at them more re-mystically, as something that many people meet. Winnicot discusses obstacles in relationships with children, such as periodic irritation with the child and subsequent guilt over it. He is convinced that this is a normal phenomenon, because of which you should not blame yourself; just “good enough parents”, sincere people are more important than mechanical perfection. The author focuses on the transformation of the relationship with the child as he grows up. In his opinion, developing parenthood involves the passage of stages from the complete loss of personal independence of the parent (mother) when a small child appears to its restoration in the fight against the claims of a teenager. As a result, an independent full-fledged child’s personality is formed next to the parent’s personality.
As specific methods, the psychologist pays attention to the ratio of education in the “Yes” basis (finding opportunities for resolving situations) and in the “no” basis (introducing the concept of “can’t”), between which an optimal balance must be found. The father should not replace the mother, he has his own role in the upbringing of the boy and in the upbringing of the girl. The author considers the following questions to be fundamental:
the safety of the child (from the external world and the inner, personal);
jealousy of brothers and sisters;
moments of transition of a child from one development situation to another (from family to kindergarten, to school);
infantile habits, which are proposed to be considered as props in difficult situations and not to eradicate them, but to find out the reasons for the delay in development;
adolescent provocations (theft, behavioral violations) as a test of the reliability of parental control and supervision, which is still in demand.
The representative of psychoanalytic pedagogy K. Buettner considers not only the traditional psychoanalysis to the field of family education, but the family and institutional education, in particular the growing influence of movies, cartoons, games, toy industry, etc. Although it is difficult to speak about any final decision of this exciting many parents the issue but its very formulation in terms of the appearance of brand new toys (like Tamagotchi), Hobbies (“pokemonname”) is very relevant.
The roots of transactional analysis, developed by E. Bern, go back to psychoanalytic theories of personality. The author emphasizes that transactional analysis has done much to clarify the language of psychoanalytic theories. So, he distinguishes three States of “I”: child, adult and parent – as ways of perception of reality, analysis of received information and response.
According to Bern, all three principles in the human personality develop gradually and in interaction with the surrounding social environment. The child is spontaneity, creativity and intuition, everything that is most natural in a person. Adult – systematic observations, rationality and objectivity, following the laws of logic. The position of the parent in its structure corresponds to the category of superego in Freud’s theory of personality, and includes acquired norms of behavior, habits, and values.
When family members communicate with each other, there are three main types of interactions: complementary transactions, in which communication occurs as if on the same level; intersecting (cross) transactions, in which the States of the parties do not correspond to each other; hidden transactions, in which information is transmitted in a hidden form during communication.
The author emphasizes that the key to changing a child’s behavior lies in changing the relationship between the child and the parents, in changing the family’s lifestyle. Parents should learn how to analyze social relationships in the family themselves; introduce the child to the concepts of transactional analysis and how to apply them in practical life situations in other social spheres; involve children creatively and cheerfully in the process of learning about themselves and others; show respect for children, maintain their attitude to happiness, self-satisfaction and life.