Problems of love and marriage
The theme of love and marriage is an inexhaustible source of inspiration for writers and philosophers. In ethics, the concept of love is associated with intimate and deep feelings, a special kind of consciousness, state of mind and actions that are directed at another person, society, etc.in love, the physiological and spiritual, individual and social, personal and generally accepted are organically connected. There is no such developed society and there is no such person who in one way or another does not know what love is. E. Fromm wrote: “Love is the only satisfactory answer to the question of the problem of human existence.” He goes on to say that most people are unable to develop it to an adequate level of maturity, self-knowledge, and determination. Love in General is an art that requires experience and the ability to concentrate, intuition and understanding; in short, it must be comprehended. The reason that many do not recognize this need is, according to Fromm, the following circumstances:
most people look at love from the position of “how to be loved” rather than ” how to love»;
there is a perception that the problem is in love itself, not in the ability to love;
the concepts of “falling in love” and “state of love” are mixed, resulting in the dominant idea that nothing is easier than love, while in practice it is quite different. Love, according to E. Fromm – is an active interest in the life and development of the person to whom we feel this feeling. Where there is no active interest, there is no love (Fromm E., 1990, p. 42).
In different epochs, different types and aspects of love were distinguished, and attempts were made to systematize the forms of its manifestation, placing them according to their significance and meaning. The ancient Greeks, for example, used various terms to Express various aspects and shades of love. They used the word eros to denote feelings directed at an object in order to fully absorb it. This term expresses love-passion, jealousy and sensual attraction and is associated with its pathos, affective, sensual side.
The word philia (usually translated as love-friendship) refers to the connection of individuals due to social or personal choice. This is an internal inclination, an attraction that grew out of intimacy and communication with a particular person. The main condition here is” peace of mind”, inner closeness, mutual understanding, which, however, does not mean cold calculation or blind impulsive passion. Thus, philia means spiritual, open, based on internal sympathy love, expresses a combination of similar (whereas eros is a struggle and a combination of opposite) principles.
The word storge means love, which is associated with organic family ties, unbreakable, not amenable to cancellation (especially family ties). This is a tender, confident, reliable love that is established between parents and children, husband and wife, citizens and the Fatherland. In such love, a person finds peace and trust, a sense of confidence. This term expresses feelings not of an individual, but of a generic community, without which the Greeks could not imagine their existence.
The term agape of the Greeks meant reasonable love that arises on the basis of an assessment of a particular favorite, his character traits, etc.a person can reasonably justify It, because it is based on belief, and not on spontaneous feelings, habits. This aspect of love is historically associated with an adequate assessment of the other person, which is the basis of mutual respect.
In the middle ages, Christianity interpreted love as the highest principle of morality, the most deeply revealing human nature. Love was understood as a certain inner strength of a person, which never runs out, but constantly, tirelessly extends to all human actions, directing him to prosperity.