Close ideas about the role of “parental programming” in the fate of a person are developed by the American psychotherapist E. Byrne. Describing the various ways in which the family and its individual members affect the child’s personality, he uses the concept-metaphor “scenario”: “a Scenario is a gradually unfolding life plan that is formed… in early childhood, mainly under the influence of parents. This psychic impulse pushes a person forward with great force, towards his fate, and very often regardless of his resistance or free choice” (FOOTNOTE: Bern E. Games played by people. People who play games. – L., 1992.- Pp. 175-176.) (our italics. – E. S.). This is a kind of unconscious acceptance by the child of the prescriptive “image” of the future adult life-the fate of the “winner” or “defeated”, “loser”. Continue reading
Every family has its own rules of life. They are divided into vowels and unspoken ones, which everyone knows about, according to which everyone lives, but which are not voiced or confessed. If we are talking about vowel rules, then it is easy to agree on them. If they are not voiced, the subordinations are unspoken, people pretend that there are no rules. It is important to identify not only vowels, but unspoken rules.
There are other rules:
Cultural ones that exist in a particular culture and are accepted by many families. They are known to all family members and all families. For example, parents should not have sex in front of children. Continue reading