The family, as a system, on the one hand has a physical structure represented by specific members, and, on the other hand, there is a structure of relations in the family-connections between family members. Each family member has a role to play. Family relationships are relationships between roles.
What is a role? The role arises because of certain expectations of the external environment. Accordingly, each role includes a normatively approved form of behavior that is expected from a person who occupies a certain position in the system of relations, including family ones. The concept of a role includes desires and goals, beliefs and feelings, attitudes, actions, and values that are attributed to a person who occupies a certain position in the relationship system. Continue reading
Every family is a system, and every system has its own structure and boundaries. The boundaries of the family depend closely on the state of the boundaries of large social systems. The more open the borders of a larger social system (state), the more closed the borders of a smaller social system (family) are, and Vice versa. For 70 years, the USSR was a closed state, and families were very open. Now the system of the state has opened and the borders of the family are rapidly closing. A positive attitude towards closed family systems is being formed. But if the boundaries of the family are closed, then the boundaries of the subsystem (mom, dad) are increasingly open. For such systems, vertical dysfunctional coalitions (mom and daughter versus dad) are very common. All vertical coalitions are dysfunctional, while horizontal coalitions are functional. Continue reading
Every family has its own rules of life. They are divided into vowels and unspoken ones, which everyone knows about, according to which everyone lives, but which are not voiced or confessed. If we are talking about vowel rules, then it is easy to agree on them. If they are not voiced, the subordinations are unspoken, people pretend that there are no rules. It is important to identify not only vowels, but unspoken rules.
There are other rules:
Cultural ones that exist in a particular culture and are accepted by many families. They are known to all family members and all families. For example, parents should not have sex in front of children. Continue reading